


You Don't Know the Half of It.

by RomanRomaineLettuce



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coming Out, Sam is Scared, Supportive Dean, Trans Sam Winchester, the bunker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:40:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27922417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomanRomaineLettuce/pseuds/RomanRomaineLettuce
Summary: Sam is terrified to come out to Dean, Dean loves Sam no matter what.
Kudos: 38





	You Don't Know the Half of It.

Sam was pacing, it wasn’t anything unusual, it had become a habit that he had picked up on when their nerves got to him. But it was late, around 2 in the AM and they hadn’t gotten much sleep. Their feet ached from the hunt earlier, but not more than his chest which hurt from anticipation and worry. 

Sam needed to come out. It wasn’t simply a want at this point.

The light of the kitchen flickered on and Sam jumped, turning his head to the entrance where a tired Dean was standing.

‘’Dude, it’s like 3 or something.’’ Dean groaned.

Sam pursed his lips and stopped in his tracks to face his brother, ‘’I needed some space for a second. Why are you up?’’ 

Dean didn’t answer, he simply furrowed his eyebrows at Sam and opened his mouth to say something before letting out a huff, ‘’Somethings up with you.’’ 

Sam shook his head, cursing themself out mentally. Fuck Sam, you cannot be more fucking obvious. And at this point Sam was wondering how Dean was able to conceal his emotions for so long, ever since Sam started thinking about their gender they knew they had been acting off.

‘’Dean, I can’t…’’ Sam spoke, Dean quickly pulled out a chair from the dining table and took a seat for himself, ushering Sam over.

‘’C’mon, I’m your brother. I don’t care, I want to know what is up with you. Sammy, you’ve been weird your whole damn life but the past couple months you’ve been extra strange. You have to let me know, haven’t been having visions or anything, have you?’’ 

Sam took the seat across from Dean and shook their head quickly, ‘’No visions, it’s not anything like that. I’m just scared, Dean.’’ Sam sighed, pursing their lips and keeping their head faced toward the table. 

‘’Please, you can’t say this to Cas, okay? I’m just…’’ Sam took their time, Dean was patient. 

‘’Y’know how you used to tell me I acted like a girl? You still do, but especially when we were kids. I didn’t like the whole car thing and I never wanted to learn how to shoot and stuff?’’ Sam continued, ‘’I didn’t want to be like you and dad, and I liked school, I really did, but there was something else I didn’t even know until recently. I didn’t like it because it made me feel too masculine. Not only that, just the way I’m ‘supposed’ to dress. I don’t like being perceived as male.’’

Dean didn’t respond for a moment, Sam felt tears welling in their eyes. He’s going to call me a fucking faggot, I know he will. Should have kept your damn mouth shut.

‘’So you don’t want to be a guy?’’ Dean asked, it would perhaps sound genuine to anyone else except for Sam. It felt like a mockery, a tear fell into Sam’s lap and they clasped their hands together tightly.

Sam felt pain in their chest, but Sam looked to Dean and nodded softly.

‘’It isn’t just that. I d-don’t feel male. I don’t know how to describe it, Dean. I don’t feel like my body is my own. I don’t feel like your brother, it’s not the possessions fucking me up, I’ve felt like this for as long as I can remember.’’

Long arms wrapped around Sam’s body and they automatically hugged back tightly. Sam buried their face into the warmth of Deans neck and shut their eyes tightly. They were shaking, and Dean felt it.

‘’Sam, I don’t care who you are, or what gender you are. You’re my sibling, okay? I took care of you, I’m going to still do that no matter what name you go by or what you might be.’’ Dean cooed, rubbing circles into Sam’s back.

His voice shook, not the same extent to Sam’s. 

‘’Thank you so much Dean. You have no idea, you have no idea how much that means to me to hear you say that.’’ Sam finally pulled away from the comfort of their brothers arms to look him in the eyes.

‘’I thought about it, I’m okay with the name Sam. I just don’t like the pronouns ‘he/him’ and being called male.’’ Sam once again averted their eyes to their lap, ‘’I would prefer if you used ‘they/them’ and just calling me your sibling. I’m not a girl, I’m just something in between.’’

‘’I can do that, Sammy. I’m so glad you told me, okay? Now go to damn bed, okay?’’ Dean chuckled lowly at the end, cracking a smile from Sam themself. 

‘’I can definitely do that.’’ It didn’t hit Sam how tired they were until now, a weight was finally lifted. They felt relieved for the first time.


End file.
